In this blog, we bring you tips to help you overcome fear of failure. We all fail occasionally, but not all of us are equipped to deal with failure in the most effective ways.

We associate failure with our self-worth, which we assume is directly equal to our achievements. So, if we are not able to accomplish our goals or dreams, we sulk in self-blame and guilt of being a failure. This guilt arises from the fear of ‘what will people think about me?’

The problem with us is that we associate every challenge with self-doubts. Pre-judging our own decisions has become our second nature, because we are afraid of taking risks. We are beings of habit. And breaking out of our comfort zone requires courage. Courage to fail sometimes.

What is Fear of Failure? 

Every fear is based on a worry about going wrong, making mistakes, looking foolish, and/or not meeting our or others’ expectations. We live a situation first in our mind, think of all the negative outcomes, then we fear failure, and decide not to attempt doing it. The fear of failure seems surreal in our mind, that it makes us believe the worst could happen.

Mind is extremely powerful. And fear of failure is a strong emotion. It creates where your thoughts flow. It is a natural human tendency to think of the worst outcome first in any given dreadful or stressful situation. When we continuously think negative thoughts and focus on what we don’t want, we are throwing out the thoughts of fear. Scientifically proven, the mind does not understand the command ‘don’t want’ rather it picks up the words you are saying you don’t want. For example, you fear failing your CAT exam this year. And keep playing this thought ‘I don’t want to fail my CAT this year’ in loop in your mind. Your mind omits ‘don’t want’ and picks up your command ‘fail my CAT exam’. So, that’s how easily, sitting in the comfort of your home, you have triggered the universal forces to fail you in your CAT exam.

To train your mind to cope with fear of failure, you can start framing your thoughts differently. For the above example, you can reframe your sentence as ‘I want to pass my CAT exam this year’. Observe, when you shift your thought, you shift your reality. Your plan of action to accomplish your thought should be to study hard, practice, practice, and give your CAT exam feeling confident. Understand, failures are learning experiences, not a dead end in your life. 

What Causes Fear Of Failure? 

Some fears are natural and good for us, as they are programmed to protect us in times of danger. Such fears are: fear of fire, fear of water, fear of heights, etc. But as a student or  professional, the biggest fear you might face is fear of failure. When in fear, our body freezes. It is a natural reaction of our body to shut down to protect us when it sees danger. Ever experienced fear of public speaking, as a child, you had to perform in front of the whole school? But when you were on the stage, you could not utter a word. You felt your body freeze at that moment. You feared being mocked at for your poor performance, and hence the fear of failure took over.

Strong emotions of embarrassment, sadness, anxiety, anger, and shame are associated with failure.

Picking the points from the above list, understand what you are afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? Does it remind you of any particular incident where you felt embarrassed, angry, sad or shameful? Now, change your perspective and the question:

‘What if I still do what I fear?’ 

Observe your thoughts and emotions. How does your body react? You still feel shivers, or you feel ready to try again and not give up because of the fear of failure. Don’t worry if you are not there yet. We will reach the place of courage together.

Fear Statements We Often Feed Ourselves 

All our life, we have been told to follow certain beliefs that our parents learned from their parents and their parents from theirs. These beliefs and patterns are like a generational curse, passed on as a gift. We have been taught to think and live in our means. We always feel there is lack of everything, rather than abundance. So these fears become our beliefs, and we act out of fear based belief systems.

Some Fear-Statements We Feed Ourselves Based on Our Belief Systems

• I lack confidence. I am under confident.
• I overthink. I always think the worst.
• I feel inferior. I feel less than others.
• There is not enough for everyone.
• 9 to 5 job is a secured job.
• Switching to business is a big move. It is not worth the risk.
• I feel judged by others.
• I need external validation.
• I feel unproductive. I have no professional goals.
• I am wasting my time.
• I cannot speak to a large group.
• I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat.
• I second guess myself all the time.
• If I start something, I get bored easily. I lack focus.
• Nobody believes in me.
• I am not able to push myself to solve problems.
• I am different because I am a social introvert.

These are only the tip of the iceberg of the fear-based belief statements that govern our entire life. Make a list of your own fears, and see which belief system do they stem from. Many times we act subconsciously, without even realizing. These beliefs are deep-rooted. To live a life full of abundance and joy, it is important to face our fears. This can be effectively done by consciously changing our belief-system.

5 Positive Tips To Help You Overcome Fear Of Failure 

Now that we know that fear of failure is the result of our negative self-talk, let’s give you some positive tips to help you overcome fear of failure.

Your Self-Worth Is Independent of Your Failure and Success 

People associate their success and failure with their self-worth. They feel productive and useful only if they have achieved something in life. When we are not taught to take failures as a life lesson, we may not have the skills to cope with our failures. Every task we fail becomes the measure of our capabilities and potential. As a matter of fact, we start losing our confidence.

Firstly, it is essential to understand that your self-worth does not depend on what you have achieved in life or failed at. There is no one in this world who knows everything or is good at every task. We all have failed in the past, and are sure to fail in the future. Analyze why you failed at what you did, make notes, learn your lesson, and move on. 

Breaking Bigger Goals 

We fear completing enormous tasks in a limited time. Finishing any task depends on various outside factors, such as availability of people if it’s a team work, availability of material, time management, etc. A suggestion, look at your bigger goal, divide it into smaller achievable goals on a daily basis. Doing so helps reduce your work performance pressure and the outcome pressure. Remember to always have a strategy in place to fulfil your targets.

Take Baby Steps 

We are all overloaded with work throughout the day. And know that you cannot accomplish everything in a day. Make a to-do list. Prioritize what needs your immediate attention. If you finish your to-do list on time, do not rush to complete the tasks you have assigned for the next day. Relax in the time you are left with. Go for a nature walk, unwind, listen to your favourite podcast. Do what relieves your stress. When you are at peace, you will attract happy, positive thoughts. And a calm mind makes it easier to understand that accepting our failures with grace only makes us more human.

Up-skill Yourself 

We fear being judged by others at our work place, by our classmates, at social gatherings, or at study groups, because we feel we lack knowledge. If you fear being judged as a failure for lack of knowledge in a particular subject or a field, up-skill your learnings. Read books on the related topics, watch informative videos to become conversation starters, or join an online course to enhance your area of expertise. This is a sure shot way to overcome your fear of being looked at as a failure.

Expert Advice 

Whether it is a change in career, diverting from job to business, shifting base, or buying a property, any big move raises self-doubt. We second guess all our choices. We weigh the pros and cons of our decision, because of the fear of failure at the back of our mind. There are n number of ‘what if’s’ thoughts running through our mind on a loop.

What if I leave my job and fail at my new venture? What will others think? They will mock me for taking such a big risk at this stage of my life.

What if I appear for the CAT exam and fail again this year? My family will be disappointed in me, and my friends and neighbours will laugh at me.

What if I give up my villa and live in a two-bedroom flat? What would my friends think? Have I gone bankrupt, or is it a midlife crisis?

You see how our fear of failure surfaces as we think of doing something for ourselves, or we try to make changes to our existing life. If you are unsure of your decisions, take expert advice from people who have already treaded that path. Talk to your parents or any family member you think can help you reach a conclusion. It is also judicious to do some research yourself and brainstorm various possible options.

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